View Full Version : A Joke

hello you
02-05-2004, 06:28 PM
Chicken bone

A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town out in the South. She orders the chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast she starts to choke on a chicken bone.

Buford Buck's 2 country boys in the next booth notice she is choking. So they get up and go over to help her. Buford drops his coveralls and bends over and then Buck starts licking his butt.

The choking woman watches these two go at it and is so grossed out she starts spewing up all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat.

Buford pulls his overalls back up and says to Buck "You're right, that hind-lick manoeuvre works like a charm."

the blair witch
02-21-2004, 08:30 AM
:blink: cool, my joke- 3 blondes go on a walking trip they stop when they get to some tracks, the first blonde says "its rabbit tracks" the second blonde goes "no its bunny tracks" and before the third blonde could say anything they got hit by a train :unsure: :huh: :o

02-22-2004, 10:58 AM
Thats funny. :D

fed up
02-22-2004, 11:25 AM
even funnier than that is one member a post count of nearly a hundred and all with under 150 words , gives me a smile anyway, i guess before i go to your post whether its 2, 3, or 4 words. ha ha ha im nearly always wrong as its mostly only 1,

Jaime Andrés
02-22-2004, 02:33 PM
What is this hang up about post counts :unsure: Surely it is the content of the post that matters. A one or two word comment made only to increase the number of posts recorded seems ridiculous and anyone reading them would just ignore them if they are superfluous.
Perhaps these posters genuinly believe they are participating in a worthwhile manner.
I know on another forum people that will add only a smiley as a comment, and in another case one who posted and deleted one word two hundred times. Each deletion still records as a post. Again back to my original point what is the hang up... is it a status thing or what :unsure:

02-22-2004, 06:19 PM
The issue is not about increasing the post count, the issue is when members do not contribute anything, except a grunt. This is pointless and adds nothing to the conversation. It is just inflating the post count. Who is making a deal out of inflating the post count, the people with replies such as "ok".
If your going to contribute to the threads, make sure it is a sentence, and adds to the overall subject at hand.
Otherwise, it's being upped on the board and serves no purpose to the flow of the conversation.

02-23-2004, 12:55 AM
Originally posted by Jaime Andrés @Feb 22 2004, 02:33 PM
and anyone reading them would just ignore them if they are superfluous.As stated before in o.v.forums we are not mind readers so how are we supposed to know that that "unread topic" is best ignored or that second page created in a topic is just a waste of time and space it can be a real drain on those of us with slow connex.
also it slows the internet as a whole with all those notifications being sent out to members who are tracking topics informing them that a reply has been added.
Unfortunately I am not currently able to display precise figures for how the www is slowed by inconsiderate posting. :ph34r:

03-26-2004, 09:09 AM
ok, a joke from me.....a man had 12 tablets of viagra and surely he died....his relatives couldnt close his coffin for three days :lol:

04-01-2004, 05:35 PM
here's one joke from me; B)
One day a man was going on the street. He met a man who asked him what had happened to his ears as both ears covered with bandages.
He said: "I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead of picking up the phone, i pick up the iron, so i burnt my ear."
The man asked "So what happened to your other ear?"
He said "That same stupid guy called again"
:D :blink:

the gaffer
04-02-2004, 09:35 AM
a chap and his wife return home on the night of their wedding day and as soon as they got in the house the man siad just a minute before we go any further and stood in front of his wife and removed his trousers, throwing them to her he said put them on, she replied him by saying i cannot wear those, so he turned to her and said no you cannot and just remember im the one that wears the trousers in this house and i always will do. in reply she promptly pulled up her dress and removed her knickers,, throwing them to him she said put them on, he replied her saying i cannot get into them, so she turned and said no, and you never damn will if you dont change your attitude.

Jaime Andrés
04-03-2004, 05:43 PM
Nelson Mandela was having a quiet pre - lunch drink on his verandah when a truck pulls up and out jumps a Hong Kong Chinese guy ... 6000 ladiator hoses sign here please.... I didn't order this stuff protested Mandela, bugger off.
Next day the same Chinese guy turns up with 4500 sets of blake pads.....Nelson is very fed up and tells the guy to f**k off. The poor Chinese guy looks very put out and puzzled and asks......................

You not Nissan Maindealer

04-03-2004, 06:05 PM
A married couple were getting divorced and went before the judge to settle custody of their 5 year old son.

The judge asked the boy, "Do you want to live with your mother?"

"Oh no". said the boy, "she beats me."

"Very well", said the judge, "do you want to live with your father?"

"Oh no", replied the boy again, "he beats me too."

"OK then", the judge answered, "who do you want to live with then?"

"The Toronto Maple Leafs", answered the boy, "they never beat anyone."