A married couple were getting divorced and went before the judge to settle custody of their 5 year old son.
The judge asked the boy, "Do you want to live with your mother?"
"Oh no". said the boy, "she beats me."
"Very well", said the judge, "do you want to live with your father?"
"Oh no", replied the boy again, "he beats me too."
"OK then", the judge answered, "who do you want to live with then?"
"The Toronto Maple Leafs", answered the boy, "they never beat anyone."