Hello from Zippy Gizzardfanny

[The Dude]

How to Get a New Name Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break-up the day. Here is your dose...

Follow the instructions to find your new name. The following in an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous
Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dave Pilkey: The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

Use the THIRD letter of your FIRST name to determine your new first name:

a = poopsie...........n = zippy
b = lumpy.............o = goober
c = buttercup.........p = doofus
d = gidget............q = slimy
e = crusty............r = loopy
f = greasy............s = snotty
g = fluffy............t = tulefel
h = cheeseball........u = dorkey
i = chim-chim.........v = squeezit
j = stinky............w = oprah
k = flunky............x = skipper
l = booger............y = dinky
m = pinky.............z = zsa-zsa

Use the SECOND letter of your LAST name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = diaper............n = rhino
b = toilet............o = bubble
c = giggle............p = hamster
d = burger............q = toad
e = girdle............r = gizzard
f = barf.............s = pizza
g = lizard............t = gerbil
h = waffle............u = chicken
i = cootie............v = pickle
j = monkey............w = chuckle
k = potty.............x = tofu
l = liver.............y = gorilla
m = banana............z = stinker

Use the FOURTH letter of your LAST name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = head............n = chunks
b = mouth...........o = hiney
c = face............p = biscuits
d = nose............q = toes
e = tush............r = buns
f = breath..........s = fanny
g = pants...........t = sniffer
h = shorts..........u = sprinkles
i = lips............v = kisser
j = honker..........w = squirt
k = butt............x = humperdinck
l = brain...........y = brains
m = tushie..........z = juice

Thus for example:
George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts.
Bill Clinton's name is Booger Liverchunks.

Have fun